Menorca - Day 2 - Avin it Large

First real day of our holidays. Up bright and early, breakfast, of the healthy continental type, on one of our terraces and we are set for a day of doing nothing around the pool.

Men bored by 11:00 set out on manoeuvres with the excuse of finding the local fish shops and butchers for a BBQ that evening. As per usual we did not get very far before we were exhausted and needed refreshments. Our waiter from yesterday morning recognised us and noticed that as we were without women suggested we might like a "large beer" today. Agreed.

A

12 sausages added to the bag he even through in a couple of Sobradasas for free. Stop off at the supermarket from the day before for yet another trolley load and we were done. Nice onions Mr R

Back at the villa the ladies had already availed themselves of lunch, including a litre of homemade Sangria, leaving the hunters to gather a few scraps together including a decent sized punnet of pork snatching. At least Mrs CT brought us some well deserved refreshments. Oh dear this is heading towards carnage again.

So on we drifted merrily into late afternoon and the evening. Mr R had promised the ladies Mojitos so mixed up a large jug full which they polished off with ease. The party had started. A pre-food boogie on our second terrace.

The villa even has 2 BBQs, one charcoal and one gas. The 2 organic, corn fed chickens and the sausages were duly cremated.

An excellent meal washed down, in the men's case by a decent bottle of red. In the women's case 2 bottles of Cava and goodness knows what else. When the lovely chocolate pudding, chosen by Mr Cas, came out along with the squirty cream, all hell let lose. The men for a change were very well behaved. More than can be said for certain ladies. You make you own mind's up!

Laters!

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Location:Calle de la Tramuntana,es Castell,Spain

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Menorca - Day 1 - Mayonnaise on the Cross Beam

It's 3am in a cold and wet Stanwick and the selected six set forth, destination Es Castell, Menorca via LTN. Uneventful drive to the airport but a very cold wait for the car park bus.
I fly quite regularly from this airport and have never seen it so busy. This is not helped by the £100m extension works that are going on at present. 30 minute queue for the bag drop only matched by the queue for security. Time to try out my recently purchased Mofily Yocam, more of this later in the week.

Just enough time remaining to buy a snack for the flight and get to the gate. No pre-flight beer as is usual on holiday. As it turns out later, this was probably not a bad thing. As we were first flight out, the plane from easyJet was already waiting. Flight time of 1:40 literally flew by. Into Mahon airport at 09:10. Bags first off, minibus located effortlessly and we were on our way to our accommodation by 09:35

Arrive Es Castell 09:50. Here lay our first challenge but one that we knew about beforehand. The Villa would not be ready for us until 14:30. So what are 6 UK holiday makers supposed to do early morning in a sunny fishing village? Drink beer of course! Even the lady folk joined in. First round ordered at 10:10. Oh dear this break is going to get messy even earlier than I though.

So 2 rounds later we went for a stroll. Ladies straight to the nearest shop that sold clothes, shoes and handbags, gents perusing the beautiful scenery whilst selecting the next refreshment stop (bar)

What pretty little place this is. Cala Fonts to give it its proper name. Small harbour surrounded by a collection of bars and restaurants. A cosy family run tapas bar was chosen for an early lunch. So early that the kitchen wasn't quite ready for us. Oh dear, another beer then and the first jug of Sangria.

Plates of anchovies, squid, mountain ham, houmus, whitebait and tomato bread followed. Of course with more beer. The phone then rang, it was Rusell our charming host and villa owner, to say that we could take up residence. A task that we wasted no time upon. Cases slung into bedrooms, after being chosen by lottery, swimwear selected and pool entered. Refreshing or what. I forgot to mention that on the way to the villa we found the local supermarket and stocked up on necessities for the next few days; beer, wine, Sangria, breakfast materials and salty snacks. So much in fact that we had to borrow the supermarket trolley to transport it.

Pictures of the villa and gardens will follow later in the week.
At 19:00 the menfolk were dispatched as hunter gatherers to seek out pizzas for dinner. Of course it took us ages and 2 bar stops to find the pizza place which was rather good and furnished us with a further beer whilst we waited.

Back at the villa the catch was devoured along with a cheeky little red that had been purchased earlier in the day. Now for those of you that have been paying attention during this blog you will have calculated that between the first beer on the plane at 06:30 and now, which is 22:00, quite a few drinks have been consumed by yours truly. This leads me nicely to the weird but accurate title of the blog. The photograph below also shows the detail.

As I leant down to retrieve the wandering Mayo sachet, I managed to clip my wine glass which erupted in a shower of cheap Roja all over, you guessed it, Mrs CT. It was actuall dripping of her eyelids and chin. The resulting tourettes driven words from my wife are too racy to be published but you can be assured that I am in the doghouse on day 1 of the holiday. As she left the room the scene was too much for Mrs R and even more so for Mrs Cas who started crying tears of laughter.
Laters, if I survive the night :(

Bulgaria 2013 - Day 5 - Chicken, Football & The Age of Consent

Weather hot, beer cold, Watford drew but won £20. Got the juniors coming around tonight for a Tommo Roast Chicken Dinner. I bet Mrs Beeney has never had something so big in her oven! Although there is no longer a 5-6 happy hour at the bar it is always a good place to come for the gossip of the day.

Talking of the pool bar, it brings me to my first opinionated rant of the holiday. One of the barmen is 24, speaks perfect English and has all sorts of metal hanging from his ears nose and lips. Despite all of this, the teenies from the UK appear to be infatuated. What worries me is that the barman probably has a very different agenda to them. He views them as "fair game" whilst they believe they are underage and he wouldn't dare try anything.

Underage in the UK you maybe. Here you are very much legal - age of consent is 14. And that is the crux of the matter. Sex anywhere in the world has to be consensual but when the age bar is lowered then holiday barmen have a much bigger field to play and attention from young girls in bikinis is welcome.

My advice, for what it is worth, before taking your daughters anywhere make them aware of the rules of engagement. Maybe then they will think twice about flirting with the staff 10 years their senior whilst still only being 24!

God help you if you are going to Spain or her islands. Age of consent is the lowest in Europe at 13.

Having said all of that, he is a bloody good barman!

Anyway, the 4pm match has just kicked off but I can only watch the first half due to aforementioned chicken. Laters xx

Chicken Dhansak

Chicken Dhansak - Tonights Dinner

This delicious and popular Parsi dish can be made with chicken or lamb. You can even omit the meat altogether and go vegetarian. Dhansak is traditionally served with Brown Rice and Kachumbar salad. While it seems like a lot of ingredients at first glance, most of them are for the Dhansak masala powder. To make and store some for later just double or triple the quantities from the recipe below, prepare and store in an airtight container. Another tip - Dhansak tastes even better the next day!

Leftover chicken tagine

A different use of the leftover Sunday Chicken.

A Pinch of Salt: Recipe: Leftover chicken tagine: I was craving middle eastern food - more specifically the holiest of spice mixes harissa . Harissa is warming and comforting at the same tim...