Majorca 2017 - Day 2 - Pedalling Posers & Furniture Removals

Mrs CT and I have managed to get 5 days away together, squeezed in between ridiculous travelling schedules. Even then we couldn't travel together. She travelling from Luton at 6am and me joining her at the hotel at 11pm via Düsseldorf. An interesting 2 hour journey with CondorAir and 150 over excited German holiday makers.

So onto the Hotel Aimia, a quiet little boutique affair one street back from the promenade and only 20 other guests. We came here 10 years ago so knew what to expect - peace and no fights for the sun beds.

The hotel is in Port de Soller, nestled at the bottom of the Tramuntana hills in the NW of Majorca. Anyone who has been here will instantly recognise the transport below. An early 20th century tram that runs between the port and the main town of Soller.

As we are only here for 5 days, we had a busy schedule ahead - out and about in the mornings and retiring to the sunbeds in the heat of the afternoon. Just like the UK at the moment, the weather is unseasonably hot at 31c. So off on our first outing a shopping/cultural trip to Soller. Beautiful architecture and little streets to explore. Many interesting little shops and far too many ladies boutiques!

So after Mrs CT had bought several gorgeous floaty numbers, refuge was found at one of the several Tapas bars surrounding the central cathedral square. Preparations were underway for the Festival of the Orange. Beer, gin and tapas dishes were consumed.At this point my indifference to certain people and their behaviour sprung forth. I have several friends who are cyclists and even I have been known to mount my two wheeled metal steed and pedal forth. Majorca has become well known for serious partakers of this particular pastime and Soller a stop off point for a spot of lunch. Multi coloured jerseys, metres of stretched Lycra and fluorescent shoes are the uniform of choice

However, it is one thing to sit there in your scrotum stuffed cycling Lycra but to actually keep your helmet and gloves on whilst consuming lunch is ridiculous posing at its worst. What are you expecting, a dangerous head height flying ham baguette. FFS it's lunch, stop looking like a prat.

Any way, rant over. Back aboard the tram for a leisurely 20 minute journey back down to the coast via the lemon and orange laden back gardens of the town.

Poolside for the afternoon. Not a lot of other guests here, so chances for story telling a little limited. Maybe 20 other guests, 6 English, 6 Belgian and the rest Spanish. As you can see from the following, the pool is set in a 2000 sq/m decked area with lovely matching wooden beds and tables.

Only one day into our short little holiday and a fellow guest was exhibiting some annoying habits. Fiona the Furniture Fidget was a disturbing pain in the a$$. Every 5 minutes or so she insisted in dragging her sunbed into a new and presumably astromically aligned position. And when I say dragging I mean ear piercingly screeching wood on wood noise. Sit down, keep quiet and don't move would be my particular advice.

By the way, if you are wondering what happened to day 1, it was spent travelling. I could tell you a lot about my fellow German passengers aboard Condor 16514 but as I work for a German company this would not be an acceptable thing to do.

I will leave you with an image of dog walking Majorca style. Strap a handle and some wheels to a pet carrier and off you go!

Laters

 

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Summer Holiday 2016 - Day -1. The Horrors of Packing

Yes, that's right readers day minus 1 to our Summer Holidays - destination will be revealed in due course. It is 221 days since the Stanwick 6 booked this holiday and time has flown by. This time tomorrow we will be at our destination airport waiting for the luggage. Luggage that always appears to be cause of concern, frustration, and in the case (no pun intended) of myself and Mrs CT, arguments.

Mrs CT always tries to nick some of my allowance claiming that she never has enough. When I point out that 9 pairs of shoes is a tad excessive, I am accused of being unhelpful and trying to ruin the holiday. This is why, today, I am on a "business trip" and have left all of the packing to her. Of course I picked out my clothes that I wanted to take, as instructed, only to be told that my selection was not appropriate!

Mrs C on the other hand has been concerned for the past 3 months or so as to how she was going to get the kitchen sink in as she always does when departing for destinations abroad.

Mrs R, bizarrely, has been more interested in the state of Mr R's smalls. Heh, each to his or her own.

I am sure we will arrive in one piece, with far too many clothes (shoes and handbags etc) than we will need. I have a feeling that the next 2 weeks are going to be much fun and could get very messy!

Laters

Good article to read

Travel bag troubles, packing panic and how you can deal with it!

Bulgaria 2013 - Day 5 - Chicken, Football & The Age of Consent

Weather hot, beer cold, Watford drew but won £20. Got the juniors coming around tonight for a Tommo Roast Chicken Dinner. I bet Mrs Beeney has never had something so big in her oven! Although there is no longer a 5-6 happy hour at the bar it is always a good place to come for the gossip of the day.

Talking of the pool bar, it brings me to my first opinionated rant of the holiday. One of the barmen is 24, speaks perfect English and has all sorts of metal hanging from his ears nose and lips. Despite all of this, the teenies from the UK appear to be infatuated. What worries me is that the barman probably has a very different agenda to them. He views them as "fair game" whilst they believe they are underage and he wouldn't dare try anything.

Underage in the UK you maybe. Here you are very much legal - age of consent is 14. And that is the crux of the matter. Sex anywhere in the world has to be consensual but when the age bar is lowered then holiday barmen have a much bigger field to play and attention from young girls in bikinis is welcome.

My advice, for what it is worth, before taking your daughters anywhere make them aware of the rules of engagement. Maybe then they will think twice about flirting with the staff 10 years their senior whilst still only being 24!

God help you if you are going to Spain or her islands. Age of consent is the lowest in Europe at 13.

Having said all of that, he is a bloody good barman!

Anyway, the 4pm match has just kicked off but I can only watch the first half due to aforementioned chicken. Laters xx

Tenerife 2012 Day 5 - National noise levels & lizards

Staying at a multi-national hotel is always interesting and I have to say far more pleasant than a UK only establishment.

We are always quite prepared for the individual quirkiness of each nationality and not forgetting the Brits have quite a few of their own.

This hotel is 70% Spanish, 20% French, 9% English & 1% German.

The French are aloof and stylish as always, the Germans very reserved due to the minority (the fact that there is an abundance of sunbeds is ruining their early morning entertainment) and the English are in the main old.

This leaves the Spanish who are as noisy as ****. Talking at 98db even when they are sitting only metres apart, with wild arm gesturing you would think there is a riot underway.

However, the Brits, not to be outdone, have brought in the cavalry in the form of a couple of Geordie families. You have never heard so much bullshit, and at head numbing volume, being spoken in and around the pool. Mrs CT and I are now on operation "Avoid sitting near to or having to talk to the Geordies"

Lizards on the other hand, are nice quiet and gentle creatures. Here is one that came to say hello this morning.

"Ooh that's massive!" exclaimed Mrs CT. I just wish she always got that excited upon viewing something that is obviously no bigger than 6 inches.

Tenerife 2012 Day 4 - When in Rome or Los Gigantes

This is the view from our balcony. The gardens and general flora and fauna are mature which is something I could apply to the rest of the hotel and most of its residents.

Mrs CT and I took bus 463 for the short journey to Los Gigantes ( The Giants). It was here some 15 years ago that we got engaged when in the aptly named Hotel Los Gigantes A hotel that has now become so tired they have shut it, gutting it and reopening later in the year. Disappointingly the resort has not moved on in all that time. Same shops full of junk and tatty tourist restaurants. I just hope that the Canaries wake up, like Majorca has, before is too late.

Mrs CT by the marina with The Giants in the background. The best place we found was The Harbour Club, a nice little collection of apartments with a jolly good wine/tapas bar attached.

This last photo is my attempt to "do in Rome what the Romans do". No joke, the beer is Mrs CT's and the cold Jezez Fino is mine!